Tranquility in Green Turtle Bay: http://www.vrbo.com/25815 The Bahamas is a hopping vacation rental destination with around 450 properties on VRBO.com as of 8/28/07.  Many travelers relish the ability to cook for themselves, as well as, a spread out a bit.  The Abaco islands alone account for about 150 of these properties.  Great Turtle Cay itself only has five properties on VRBO.

PROPERTY HEADLINE

The number of photos that you have (9) puts you at the top of the Green Turtle Cay listings-- that's good.  Your headline is okay and I get where you're going with it, but... it could sell your property better.  First of all, watch how you use dashes.  Search engines like Google and perhaps someone who is perusing VRBO might wonder what a "Home-Private" is.  Commas work better in headlines than dashes.   For your headline, try something like "Private Beach Home with AC, Grill, DVD, Kayaks."

PHOTOS AND CAPTIONS

This photo is a good exterior shot of your home.

This is fine.

This is a good shot, but I like the one on your personal website better.

Try taking this photo from farther back in the room or from a different angle.  From this angle, it seems like the big, blank wall is the main attraction.  Also, try opening the windows for a glimpse of the view.

This is a weird shot of the kitchen.  By featuring the counter and sink at this angle, it closes up the space and makes the kitchen seem much smaller than it probably is.

Consider adding curtains on these windows.  They might add a little color that would help the room pop off the screen.

This is fine.  I like how the rugs coordinate withe the throw pillows.

Beautiful shot.

This photo is a bit odd.  Is that part of the roof in the top of the frame?  If this is a shot from your deck, try to get a little of your deck in the picture, so that it's obvious where the photos was taken from.

 DESCRIPTION

First off, "Tranquillity" is misspelled and your punctuation looks a lot like the emails that come from "Nigerian" scammers.  Correct and consistent spelling and punctuation in a listing is vital to build credibility and goodwill with the renter from the get-go. Be sure to include a space (or two) after each period.  This will make your text much more readable. Try shortening your sentences.  As they read now, they're a little bit hard to follow. Switch up your paragraph order.  Your description should contain property details, area info, and rental logistics-- in that order. Note: Wicker was noted as being notoriously uncomfortable in a recent HomeAway focus group.  You don't have to switch out your furniture, but I wouldn't necessarily highlight "tastefully decorated in tropical wicker" in your ad.

VACATION RENTAL FEATURES TABLE

I'd mention that you have a separate laundry room with a washer and dryer in your ad description and then leave the "in the laundry room" off in this section.  It strikes me as odd. The description for "Covered parking" is a bit confusing.  Is the covered parking for the golf cart only? In the "Beds" section, it's bit unclear which bedroom has which sized bed.  Also which room is the master?  Many travelers will be looking for this. Why mention the size of the refrigerator?  Do a lot of properties in the Bahamas offer smaller-sized refrigerators?  Also, not many people have heard of a refrigerator with "ultraviolet protection," so you might want to explain that a little bit more. Your microwave has a "large built in Ice Maker?" From the photos, the beach looks farther than 30 feet away. I'd take out the line "Beach and nearby reef are magnets for kids."  The phrase it a bit odd and though it may not be the case, "reef" brings up the image of sharp, potentially dangerous coral and sharks.

Your rates are clear, but a bit jumbled.  Perhaps you if you organized the rates a bit differently like: Weekly: $2100 for 4 people*. Holiday Weeks (Christmas, Easter, New Years, July 4th): $2400 for 4 people*. Monthly: Check with owner. Please note: 20% deposit due on confirmation.  No taxes or cleaning fees. *$100 per additional person per week up to 6 persons total.  Children free. Again, watch your punctuation.  There should be a space after every comma.

FURTHER DETAILS AND OWNER CONTACT INFORMATION

Your website is fine and is a nice addition to your listings. The Diagnosis: The inconsistent punctuation in this listing would make me uncomfortable as a renter.  Other than that, the photos are good and the property looks beautiful. Do you have additional suggestions for this ad? Email us.